Lovers and Friends?!

At some point in your life, you've probably been friend zoned. If not, lucky you, you're a part of the .577 % of the world who always gets who they want. Yes, I made that statistic up, but that's neither here nor there. From experience, I can attest, that being friend zoned is not the most pleasant experience. Actually, it's pretty devastating if you really like the person who you got friend zoned by. In my opinion, men probably get friend zoned more than women, but we seem to handle it better. I think women see it as an opportunity and men see it as a missed opportunity...if that makes sense. Allow me to explain.

If a woman is told by a man ( or woman) that she wants to get to know better and/or date, she takes it as okay," Let's be friends and see what happens from here." Now , I can see how this can be a bad situation to put yourself in. One reason being, it may never happen, you all may JUST be friends. Keeping hope alive is definitely necessary, but at what point do you throw in the towel? The second reason is that you may be wasting time on a dead situation, leaving your feelings, actions, and next moves up to a person who may or may not care. On the other hand, he or she MAY come around. In this instance, women are able to accept being friends and use it as a tool to help them better understand the person they are pursuing and he or she may get to see who you really are without that feeling of "what are we now".

Based of off experience, and stories, men do NOT like being friend zoned. It's almost if they feel disrespected. Like their mind is saying " How can you not want me?" WHO MADE Y'ALL LIKE THIS?! In my opinion, if I say, "Let's be friends," it's an honest intent. I legitimately want to be friends with you. Being friends will help me see a side of you that I am unable to, in my opinion, if we were "talking"--what ever that means.

Being friends before a relationship brings out the vulnerability and honesty of a person's character. It's like the mask is off and I can do, be , and say anything without fear of you getting upset or wanting to break up. I feel like you get to see a side of me that I wouldn't show off the bat if we were to start off "talking". As a women, I feel as if when a man says let's be friends, he has a sense of maturity and understanding of what it takes to be in a relationship. A relationship takes honesty, communication, and dedication, which in my opinion are all qualities a genuine friendship should have.

Basically what I'm proposing is that if you want to be in a fulfilling, long-lasting , and committed relationship, START AS FRIENDS. It's just easier. So ladies and gents take that " L " and turn it into a lesson. Be friends, show him/her who you really are, be transparent, be willing to learn, and just have fun!

Remember,

Songs to listen to on the subject:

- Just Friends- Musiq Soulchild

- Just A Friend- Biz Markie

- Buddy- Musiq Soulchild

- Lovers & Friends- Lil' Jon & The East Side Boyz ft Usher & Ludacris

- HalfCrazy - Musiq Soulchild

- Fortunate- Maxwell

- Differneces- Ginuwine

- Next Lifetime- Erykah Badu ( it doesn't really relate to this situation per say, but I couldn't leave my girl out)

Honestly, reviewing these songs, y'all need to refer to Musiq Soulchild for Advice...